I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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