I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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