come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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