She's JV to your varsity
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
