I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just cropdusted the office
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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