Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize