Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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