Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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