just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
