i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
No subtext here. People are naked.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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