You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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