What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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