apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
