some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize