I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
sarcasm needs its own font
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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