People in love make me want to vomit
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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