she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
