I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
