Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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