i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
