remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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