do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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