we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
