found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
