so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Houston, we have a blender
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
