haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
