My nipple is on Facebook.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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