I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
