some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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