Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
