i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
