i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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