Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
