You work out of a Hotel?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
