i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Bring me that man meat
I came so hard my ears popped.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize