spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
