yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize