brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wanna bring you to show and tell
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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