after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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