We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
