And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
