You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This baby is an asshole
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
