Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
