Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
from now on my penis is your penis
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Randomize