I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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