If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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