She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
