They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
