chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
