ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
