It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
