we have pet lesbian snakes
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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