umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
