Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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