If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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