Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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