no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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