unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize