Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
