So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
