I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I can't put those talents on a resume
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
