Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize