id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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