Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
