last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
