I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
